Thoroughly combine the ground beef with the water, baking soda, and 1/4 tsp of pepper. Set aside.
Cook bacon in sauce pan until ALMOST burnt. You want the bacon to be firm in the sauce. Remove bacon, but leave the bacon grease in the pan. Chop up the bacon.
Turn the heat to medium. Add butter and oil to the pan. Once butter is melted, add the celery, onion, and 1/4 tsp of pepper to the pan. Saute until liquid is almost evaporated, about 5 minutes.
Keeping the heat on medium, add the meat mixture to the pan. Cook until there is no more pink. Pour in one cup of your favorite red wine. Stir and scrape brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Simmer until wine is almost evaporated, about 5 minutes. Stir in beef broth and parmesan cheese and bring back to a simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat. (You may want to save the pan for later!)
In crock pot, add the can of diced tomatoes, including the juice from the can. Add your beef mixture and the chopped bacon. Also add your desired amount of salt to the sauce. Cook on low for 5-7 hours.
Boil the pappardelle partially, in salted water. (Al dente: the pasta should be slightly firm) Pour the contents of the crockpot into the pan and add the partially cooked pasta. Mix together without breaking the pasta. Cook on medium low until the pasta is soft, and has absorbed the sauce.
Your pasta is ready to serve! Add some more parmesan cheese to your bowl!